1.12.18

I am in an unfamiliar house with my immediate family. It feels as though I am in Omaha, Nebraksa. I am due to leave on a flight to Japan for a week where I’ll be taking a continuing education course in massage therapy. The thought of being in Japan fills me with a great expansiveness and excitement. I linger about the house with my family the morning of my flight. Someone asks, “aren’t you supposed to be to the airport?” I respond, “no, my flight isn’t until later.” I spend the morning without a care, lazily walking about the house and talking with my family. When I do arrive at the airport in the early afternoon, I ask someone at the desk about the flight to Japan. “Didn’t that already leave?” They respond. I was confident that my flight was scheduled to leave later, maybe too confident. I rush to find another woman at a desk and ask her about my flight. She checks her computer and tells me that it departed at around 7:50 in the morning. I feel crushed and angry at myself for being so careless. Why didn’t I take this more seriously? I should have double checked the flight times! I pace about the airport, considering my options. I could get a later flight but that’s going to cost more money and cut into my time at the workshop. I could stay later and do some traveling throughout the country. That possibility excites me. However, some inner indecision keeps me from acting on any of these possibilities and I instead spend the time chastising myself, feeling stupid, and worrying about the financial fallout from this mistake I’ve made. All this keeps me from doing anything.